The Fear of Visibility

When I started EMN, a lot of the subject matter was about birth and postpartum. I’ve kept those posts up here for anyone at that point in their life to read, and hopefully find something useful within. I feel that writing about this now is not as effective, as it’s not the place I’m in anymore.

We can always help others on their own personal journeys, because both the person called to serve and the person being helped/served are constantly changing, are at different points on the path. The path is not supposed to be a straight line. We are not supposed to know what we are doing on the path at all times!

I find that the best help, support and advice can come from those who are either working through the same issues as yourself currently, or have recently been through a similar struggle.

With this in mind, I present some thoughts on a really common fear (especially in unleashing the Feminine) – the fear of visibility!

What is the fear of visibility?

Essentially, we have put up blocks around being seen. It may come up in relationships, business, or even manifest into physical issues.

Where did my fear of visibility come from?

There’s probably no one single source. A lot of the time deep-rooted subconscious fears stem from things that happened in childhood, for example something may have happened to you in front of many others that caused you to feel shamed.

A lot of women carry fears of being seen from past lifetimes of persecution – in times past when simply being your true Self could have got you ousted from society or even killed. This concept is explored further via Kimberley Jones’ work on the ‘Witch Wound’.

Finally, it may just be that your fear of visibility never actually originated from you. Having started reading and researching about ancestral healing and generational trauma, I’ve seen the patterns.

A fear of being seen can be passed down the family line – and if both your parents project that onto your wide-open subconscious mind from birth…then you’re going to accept that as truth.

As you work on facing your own fears and overcoming them, watch for the reactions of family members – you may find clues that this isn’t just something that has originated in you, but you could be the one to heal and break the chain.

Ok, how do I overcome my fear of visibility?

Well, maybe I should write this section in say, another 5 years. Future me will let you know!

But that’s not very helpful. The first thing is recognising it within yourself, and possibly within people around you. Then focus in, is there a particular aspect of your life where the fear is really stopping you and holding you back? Within relationships? Within trying to start a business? Once you have found the area that the fear of visibility is holding you back the most, it’s time to explore some small steps to take to overcome it.

If you find your fear of being seen translates out to how you are in public, you might want to start off by checking in with your physical body. Yoga poses such as Star Pose and Goddess Pose are useful to incorporate into a home-based practise to simply allow your physical body to take up space, part of allowing yourself to be seen (even if no-one else is there).

You can also check in with your body whilst out and about – check your posture, are you standing up to your full height or stooped over in some way? Work with the confidence of simply taking up space as you are and as you stand/sit there. Visualising golden light surrounding you like a beacon, and the affirmation ‘It is safe to be seen‘ can also help you in more public situations.

If your fear of visibility surfaces in the realm of work/business/career, it may be that you find yourself with a great idea, service or product that just seems too scary to put out there so enough people can see it. What if it fails? What if no-one wants to buy it? What if everyone thinks I’m an idiot?!

In this case, it’s useful to focus a little less on what you are doing/offering, and more on how you can be of service to others/customers/clients. By showing up and offering what you do, how is that benefitting and improving other people’s lives? How are you leaving a little bit of the world in a better place? Is making a change in the world, or following your life’s mission more important than the small percentage chance that you might look daft in front of people (which they will not wander around for the next 5 years thinking of,,,)

Sometimes it’s the jump from nothing to putting yourself out there in front of a lot of people. But you can take baby steps! Can you approach people on a 1:1 basis to begin with, until your confidence grows? Just the focus on making a difference to one single person’s life can help give you the momentum to slowly get out there.

Are you trying to avoid the haters?

A final useful point to remember is that whether or not you put yourself out there, whether you stay small and safe…there will almost certainly be people that don’t get you, don’t get where you’re coming from, don’t agree with you, or possibly don’t like you. We all have people we know of who just ain’t our cup of tea. There’s nothing you need to do (or really can do if you’re being authentically yourself) to change that.

So yes, there’s always the risk of criticism, trolling, rejection etc. But this is an unavoidable part of life, and if we can look at it objectively – it’s not what the haters are saying, but rather our reactions to that. And if we are clear enough in what we need to get out into the world to do and achieve before we leave this earth, we can work to tip the scales in favour of accomplishing that over the fear generated by our own ego, trying to keep us safe from others who aren’t on the same wavelength.